🔗 Share this article

“Well, conditions are quite harsh here. The guidance we offer all of our clients to invest all their resources into tinned provisions and hunting rifles.” This piece of shrewd guidance comes from the Brain Gremlin – a scientifically altered, talking, glasses-wearing member of the slimy Gremlin horde that overruns Manhattan’s super-smart Clamp Tower skyscraper in helmer Joe Dante’s madcap sequel Gremlins 2: The New Batch. At first glance, it’s simply an portfolio pointer from one monster to another. But, curiously, it’s also pretty solid life advice. Seriously, listen to my reasoning.

When things go bad, the biggest mistake you can do is view events with undue solemnity. The Brain Gremlin grasps this. Actually, a large portion of the dentally-gifted beasts that populate Dante’s wild 1990 film (possibly his finest) possess the same sly, self-aware sense of humour regarding the indistinct border separating everyday life and pure pandemonium. It’s one element of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that keeps me coming back – and as I age, it’s the message that resonates the most.

A Youthful Obsession

Understandably, my fondness for this movie wasn’t born on such an introspective level. As a child, we possessed merely a few well-worn videocassettes at home. Included within that collection were Gremlins and its second chapter, the latter housed in a bulky previously-rented case likely purchased from an non-chain rental store and boasting grimacing beasts on its worn-out artwork. I was immediately enamoured and these films wasted no time lodging themselves inside my young, susceptible psyche. Henceforth, they became an almost-daily part of my early years entertainment regimen.

Dante’s initial installment typically gets all the praise, thanks largely to its legacy as a partly frightening holiday classic – and to be fair, I’ve watched Gremlins on countless occasions. Nevertheless, its sequel rarely gets the same level of high regard, which feels a travesty. As a kid, I’d invariably jump at the prospect to watch Gremlins 2. During bright summer vacations, I’d lock myself inside and play it. When I got my own TV-VHS combo unit, it remained on repeat in my bedroom. With repetition, it ingrained itself in my psyche. If my parents noticed this obsession, they appeared unbothered.

Hidden Rewards and Societal Easter Eggs

As I matured, new understandings rewarded frequent screenings, elevating the fun of watching little green monsters happily vandalize a New York high-rise. I learned the future-focused property magnate and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was based squarely upon future president Donald Trump, with his ginger staff member Marla (Haviland Morris) alluding to his second wife Marla Maples. Thankfully, Clamp possesses greater compassion than his genuine article inspiration.

The “doomsday” video Clamp plays during peak-Gremlin chaos? I discovered it was inspired by a genuine “Doomsday” video commissioned by the CNN boss Ted Turner should the world truly faced apocalypse. I noticed how Dante took extra pains to film alternate cuts of a self-aware scene where Gremlins seize control of the very film you’re watching. One for cinemas, another for home video and television, each offering a winking bit of meta pop-culture magic prior to the concept being mainstream.

A Persistent Influence

While it was makeup maestro Rick Baker’s gloriously nasty-looking creatures that caught my eye as a child, this subsurface richness maintained my fascination as an adult. Ultimately, I even interviewed Dante about it myself and he had no reservations telling me he made the movie with the direct intention of ridiculing those who loved its goofy-but-heartfelt predecessor and desired a sequel. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he gleefully confessed. This anarchic defiance and resolve to not take his sequel as solemnly as his Warner Bros bosses obviously desired, only deepened my appreciation further.

When I endured a abrupt familial death recently, I was taken aback to discover that, during my heightest mourning, all I desired to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Strange, isn’t it? Possibly not. The nostalgic calm it offered was essential to thin out my mind’s mourning mire – but the stuff it had imparted to me as an adult were similarly beneficial.

Like Gremlins rampaging through a genetics laboratory, there’s some things in life you just can’t control. Dante knows it. The Brain Gremlin agrees completely. Sometimes, you have to emulate them: embrace the chaos, commit your entire being into canned food and shotguns and try not to take things too seriously.

It’s powerful existential guidance from a very unlikely source – and it’s the reason Gremlins 2: The New Batch will forever remain my go-to cinematic solace.